All by myself

Last Sunday, I ran a crappy twenty four kilometres all by myself.  It sucked, it sucked big time!  After ten months of consistent training together, I had a long run without my best running friend.

At the twelve kilometre mark, I was ready to quit!  It was mother's day and my husband's birthday and all I could thinking was my family at home enjoying breakfast, without me. 

What do I do when I want to quit? I start texting... First to my husband something along the lines of "this is the worst f***ing run of my life and I want to quit" to which he sent me the epic reply featured in the photo.  It was such a good reply that I had to take a walk break to deal with my sobbing cry baby runny nose. 

And second I texted my bestie who sent me motivational meme after motivational quote which got me through the next twelve kilometres.

After such a crap run, I realize what I am capable of with my full marathon only fifteen days away, I am feeling ready.  It will be a steady run and aiming for a finish with no injuries. 

As a side note, I should mention that last Sunday, I was only scheduled to run 23 kilometres but was aiming for 27.  I made it to my minimum distance plus one and that is okay by me. 

Now to shove my brain full of my study materials... My PTS theory exam is one week from today. YIKES!!!  My stress level for studying is rising and still trying to figure out origin and insertion points for my muscles. 

Today I have a bad case of procrastination where I just wanted to run, but  instead, I meal planned and prepared, planted in my garden and spent copious amounts of time with my daughters. Work has slowed right down to next to nothing and I am just starting the exam phase of my PTS, so slowly my contingency plan is coming to play.  If  only I can keep busy until mid June when I am aiming to be done my certification and be ready to enter the next phase of life.  Bring on the change, I am ready to face it. 

Country Road...

Caution: profanities and explicit language is used in this post.  Read at your own risk! (You've been warned!)

Do you ever get that random song lyrics stuck in your head while running outdoors?  Well I do!  Today it was John Denver's Take Me Home, Country Roads.  And then Annie's Song. I was out for my usual Tuesday tempo run and all I got was slow ass sappy tunes swirling around between my ears!  These songs were no help to my pace in the heat today.

This weekend, my bestie and I ran a glorious, (insert every expletive here) hilly 37 kilometres.  Yes, you read that correctly,  Thirty-fucking-seven long ass, hotter than all the levels of Dante's hell all combined, kilometres!  We hauled our asses over a never covered by us before terrain to "mix it up a little" in our Marathon training.  What were we thinking?!?!!  Our race day is now less than a month away (oh Fuck! Oh Fuck! Oh Fuck!) and we are feeling as ready as we can be (I'm calling bullshit on this!) for the 42.2 kilometre run.  I am just grateful to not be doing this alone.  Wait I kind of got roped into this one, but heck I'm always game for this kind of "fun".  Our shenanigans on the trails and the crazy weirdness that comes randomly spewing from our mouths at any given time it what makes it all worthwhile.  

The next few weeks we sweat through training and hope it rains and cools down for the race. 

Take me home, Country roads!

I am FREE

This is week eleven of marathon training.  My legs are sore and my feet hate me even more.  I am still pushing on.  My distance has been building and mind is going through the "what the f**k did you get yourself into??" thoughts.  Almost half way through a long run, I was on a new trail and someone spray painted the words "I Am Free" onto the path. 

It became my mantra, a little something to get me through the 29 kilometres.   In time for my brain to explode that this week we jump to 32 kilometres.  Oh shit! Still I carry on. Running. Hill repeats, tempo runs, steady runs and my long slow distances.  Somehow I power through just fine.

My feet are callused and blistered, in one word UGLY. This comes with running.  It is not very often that I get to remove my running shoes and not have a bloody toe or a raw spot but I love the euphoria I get from running.  The I shut the world out and everything becomes fan-freaking-tastic.  A runner's high of sorts, a break from my life where I get to be just me only for a few hours a week does this stress-less life appear and I realize why I do the things I do. 

This is me!

This is me. The crazy one.  Dressed in neon orange outside running.  Yes it might have been in 30cm of fresh snow and during a snowfall. It might have been -32 degrees Celsius outside.  This is what I do.  I don't complain, I come prepared.  I run each run as though it were my last.  I try to live in the moment.  I am present, alive and breathing.  I am here.  There are hard runs, they suck the good feeling out and replace it with despair.  But there are usually more often than not awesome runs that fill me up with runners high (real thing. No lie) that leave me feeling exhilarated and full of life.  Just ready for more.  The love of running exudes from every pore of my being.  Not sweat people, we runners leak Awesome!  Yes in someway that might be misconstrued as insane, but we take that as a compliment.   Thank you for noticing our hard work and dedication to our sport and thinking we are nuts because maybe we are just a little bit.  In the end it is just another justification to eat all the things post long run.
Before I really taking my running seriously, I had heard of these ridiculous post run meals of runners gorging on any and all foods in sight, the proverbial "See Food Diet."  Now I can truly attest to it being real.  Post long run, I consume water, coffee, and eat all the things.  By that I mean all food that gets within arms reach will be consumed.  After knew long run in particular, I remember lying on the kitchen floor and having my daughters (3 and 5 years old at the time) put foods in my mouth.  A gummy bear, peanut butter and banana sandwich with cheese and cucumber really isn't that bad.  And yes, this was just one mouthful.

So really I am not all that crazy.  I am just plain old weird and not afraid to own that one. This is me, a mum, a runner, a welder and a fitness enthusiast. 

Run for your life...

It has been a long time since I took the time to sit down and write.
This past year has changed me in more ways than one.  I set some goals, crushed them into the ground, set some more and smashed them up too.  I am at a pivotal point where my goals are push me to limits I didn't know existed. 
I guess some would say I have found my niche.  My utopia.  I found a group of like minded individuals that encourage me to be better and do better.  I am so at peace, my depression has melted away and I am becoming the person I am supposed to be.  My lovely run club gave me the courage and support to develop my skills and knowledge of my sport.  And so this year I have become a runner.  I eat, sleep, run and repeat as much as possible (with a full time job in the mix).
This year I participated in my first Running Room half marathon clinic to prepare for the BMO Okanagan half marathon.   It was AMAZING, not only because of the fantastic instructors, but because my body responded to the training program, I went from a finish time of 2:42:36 in 2014 to a 2:06:58 in 2015!  This was a huge milestone for me.  A big WIN.   To make things even more interesting, one of my instructors, Heather asked me to co-instruct/coach the following clinic geared towards the Hypothermic half marathon.  To which I agreed. 
So here I am, the night before the race reflecting on all the awesome training runs, bloody feet, lots of sweat and maybe a few tears that we have been through.  Heather and I have been running and training together and apart for almost nine months.  She is an amazing young woman and I am incredibly honoured to have been able to co-instruct with her.  We have several races planned and goal times to push towards this up coming year.  We started it all off with the New Years Pure Protein Resolution Run and a leap year virtual run to raise awareness for rare diseases.  Tomorrow's Hypothermic half marathon will be a trial of our strength, endurance and determination. 
So to honour my best running friend, Heather, this run is for us.  For all we have done and worked for for the hundreds of kilometres we have run together, and to many, many more.  Thank you a million times over for being so awesomely crazy! 

C is for...

Cute!  Things 1 and 2 are cute as a button when they choose to be.

B is for...

Beautiful: the way I am living my life.  In order to be a positive roll model for my girls, I choose to be beautiful in mind and spirit.