Today is the tenth anniversary of my mum's death. Over ten years, I have lived my life and changed my course several times knowing that I have to keep moving to keep myself going. My memories have faded but I still wake with the nightmare replaying over and over in my mind. I was not ready to have her die but she was ready to go. I can't remember her laugh, but I remember her aura, warmth and unconditional love. I remember the sound of her kettle whistle and her brown teapot. I remember the sound of her running shoes on the living room floor as she got ready for a run. I remember her excitement for spring and the flowers and gardening plans she had in mind. I remember her hugs and the way she tucked her hair behind one ear. Her voice has faded from my memory but her lessons remain. I miss her more today than I did ten years ago but time does not heal everything. If I could go back and say two things, it would be thank you and I love you.
She gave me life and with her memory, I live it and try to be the best parent I can be to my own daughters. I will love her forever and miss her more by the day.
