I realised today that March has come to an end and April begins tomorrow. This month the weather has been back and forth trying to decide if spring is allowed to start or if it is going to snow more and stick with winter. We have busy with the business and I feel like there are days where we are running all over the place for peanuts. This month, I have been struggling with the worst part of my depression (part PPD, part depressive episode - been dealing with these since I was a kid) this year and am still fighting the ugly behaviours. I am lucky I have the support of my husband who can tell me straight when I am falling into the funk again. I have decided not to drug myself again as I tend to go through a period where things get way worse before they get better. I have managed to pull myself through with the help of my amazing sisters and loving husband who have lent me their ears on days when I didn't think I would make it. But sure enough, I am still here and I am still fighting and I do it not only for me but for my girls. I truly hope with all my heart that they will never have to suffer or struggle like I do with mental illness.
March is another one of my crazy months... mostly because I miss my mum more than ever on her birthday (29th march). This year she would have been 56 years old, and in August it will have been TEN (10) years since she passed away. I wish so often that she could see me now, how far I've come and see her beautiful granddaughters (all four of them! Not just my girls but my sister's as well). She would have been the most amazing Grandma. So this month in honour of my mum, I made sure to kitchen dance with the girls, painted the windows with soap, cuddled more and read more books, I try to laugh and love them more everyday to make their lives happy and full.
This month we also wanted to wish Liz(30th) and Banauntie Megan(19th), very happy birthdays too!
The fight isn't over yet but I will prevail all in due time! And tomorrow is another day, so I will keep on going one tomorrow at a time and soon enough things are bound to get better. In the meantime, I am starting a new routine program for the whole family starting tomorrow, fingers crossed that it works. Love to all and hopefully you don't get too Fooled on April Fool's day.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Today and upcoming sewer repairs
I just got a notice in my mailbox that the alley behind our house is having some sewer work done this week. The note also included instructions saying that our sewer service will be temporarily shut off. Obviously I am going to have to find somewhere else to be during the SIX (6) hours that we will have no waste water capabilities. Their instructions are as follows:
1. Do not was clothes or dishes. (Yahoo... a holiday from the chores!!!! Catch up will be a pain in the butt the next day, but a break nonetheless!)
2. Do not take showers or baths. (Yikes! I will have a messy child that day!)
3. Do not flush toilets. (Better hope that we don't have to use the diaper sprayer either otherwise it'll be stinky in my house!)
4. Do not operate sump pumps which are connected to the sewer system. (Don't have one so it doesn't matter.)
I was thinking I should take the whole family to the recreation centre for the afternoon (work pending for Laurence), that way the kids have fun and I get them clean after hitting up the pool and play area. Furia will most likely sleep the whole time but Anomantia can go haywire!
I am just glad that the weather has been so nice today. I woke up to Furia projectile puking sour milk all over herself (in her hair and all). So it was off to the shower for the two of us, got us all cleaned up and dressed and had time to nurse and get her back to sleep before Laurence and Anomantia woke up. Once the rest of the family was awake, I made breakfast, got Anomantia dressed and playing with a mouse (electronic not live) and keyboard in the kitchen while I did up some dishes (Sigh, Yes my dishwasher is still not working). After the clean up, I changed Furia's diaper and fed her again. By then Anomantia was going into the pantry to get at some food and decided that peanut butter was the food of the day! Peanut butter and homemade raspberry jam sandwiches (insert a couple of verses of Fred Penner's version of the Sandwich song, originally by Bob King, here) for lunch. Wiped off Anomantia's face and hands, changed Furia's diaper again, nursed Furia again, go Anomantia ready to go outside to play... looked at the clock 11:30am! Wow this day was moving slowly. Went outside and played in the sun with the neighbourhood kids... sidewalk chalk season is finally here. Anomantia has a couple of new words "heart, chalk and Attention". She has started singing songs in her own little babble language with a few comprehensible ones thrown it, it is Fantastic! I had to carry her home at 3pm because she was tired and had sat in a mud puddle and was soaking wet from that (her diaper was still dry on the inside but soaked on the outside!). She was not to happy about having to go back to the house but she did put up a good fight. Right now, both girls are napping (yay!) and I am taking a few minutes for myself with my lovely cup of tea. I guess the chores are waiting on me too... better get a moving to get things done before the toynado strikes again.
1. Do not was clothes or dishes. (Yahoo... a holiday from the chores!!!! Catch up will be a pain in the butt the next day, but a break nonetheless!)
2. Do not take showers or baths. (Yikes! I will have a messy child that day!)
3. Do not flush toilets. (Better hope that we don't have to use the diaper sprayer either otherwise it'll be stinky in my house!)
4. Do not operate sump pumps which are connected to the sewer system. (Don't have one so it doesn't matter.)
I was thinking I should take the whole family to the recreation centre for the afternoon (work pending for Laurence), that way the kids have fun and I get them clean after hitting up the pool and play area. Furia will most likely sleep the whole time but Anomantia can go haywire!
I am just glad that the weather has been so nice today. I woke up to Furia projectile puking sour milk all over herself (in her hair and all). So it was off to the shower for the two of us, got us all cleaned up and dressed and had time to nurse and get her back to sleep before Laurence and Anomantia woke up. Once the rest of the family was awake, I made breakfast, got Anomantia dressed and playing with a mouse (electronic not live) and keyboard in the kitchen while I did up some dishes (Sigh, Yes my dishwasher is still not working). After the clean up, I changed Furia's diaper and fed her again. By then Anomantia was going into the pantry to get at some food and decided that peanut butter was the food of the day! Peanut butter and homemade raspberry jam sandwiches (insert a couple of verses of Fred Penner's version of the Sandwich song, originally by Bob King, here) for lunch. Wiped off Anomantia's face and hands, changed Furia's diaper again, nursed Furia again, go Anomantia ready to go outside to play... looked at the clock 11:30am! Wow this day was moving slowly. Went outside and played in the sun with the neighbourhood kids... sidewalk chalk season is finally here. Anomantia has a couple of new words "heart, chalk and Attention". She has started singing songs in her own little babble language with a few comprehensible ones thrown it, it is Fantastic! I had to carry her home at 3pm because she was tired and had sat in a mud puddle and was soaking wet from that (her diaper was still dry on the inside but soaked on the outside!). She was not to happy about having to go back to the house but she did put up a good fight. Right now, both girls are napping (yay!) and I am taking a few minutes for myself with my lovely cup of tea. I guess the chores are waiting on me too... better get a moving to get things done before the toynado strikes again.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
New Beginnings for my feet!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Cake and Poop!
As in my previous post Anomantia begged me to make cake today, so I did... Chocolate Devil's Food Cake with a Brown Cow Butter cream icing (yes there was Kaluha in it). And for some out of my mind reason, I served CAKE for dinner tonight. I guess I didn't realise what time it was (the time change has really thrown me for a loop this time) and I served Anomantia a giant piece of that beautiful cake. After eating her cake and specifically asking for more when I realised I had better give her something other than sugar, I gave her a bowl of soup (leftovers from lunch). She has refused to eat the soup (still sitting on the table- 45 minutes later) and decided that eating a banana (Danna as she calls it) and drinking water is good enough. I am still waiting to see if she is going to eat the soup.
Today has been one of those National Lampoon type days for me, everything goes wrong when Laurence is out or just in the garage (stepped out of the house for a minute and shit -pardon my language- hits the fan). I get all the crazy things today. Anomantia using the toilet then peeing on the kitchen floor, so I threw her in the shower because she smelled like pee, ran upstairs to change Furia and pull the cake out of the oven, get downstairs to get her out of the shower to find that she pooped in the shower (UGH!), my day can't get any worse. I had to run out and get Laurence's suit from the cleaners and pick up a parcel from the post office, I get home to find that Anomantia is soaking wet (peed through her diaper and pants) again... I have had it with her not using the toilet, I have no idea how to get her to potty train, but this summer she will be bare bum until she uses the toilet properly. I have tried training pants and pull ups, but she just runs and hides to pee and poop and won't use the toilet. I had to get rid of our potty because she was so scared of it that she refused to go into the bathroom if it was in there. So for now, it has become a point of contention in our house, Anomantia must potty train so she can go to preschool. She could care less if she goes to preschool or not, she really has no interest in other people or kids at this point and I am still trying to find a way to make her interested in learning. She does things her way and in her time at home so why doesn't the rest of the world work on her schedule too is the attitude I get from her. I desperately need to get her on a schedule, that way she might be more interested in doing things differently.
Today has been one of those National Lampoon type days for me, everything goes wrong when Laurence is out or just in the garage (stepped out of the house for a minute and shit -pardon my language- hits the fan). I get all the crazy things today. Anomantia using the toilet then peeing on the kitchen floor, so I threw her in the shower because she smelled like pee, ran upstairs to change Furia and pull the cake out of the oven, get downstairs to get her out of the shower to find that she pooped in the shower (UGH!), my day can't get any worse. I had to run out and get Laurence's suit from the cleaners and pick up a parcel from the post office, I get home to find that Anomantia is soaking wet (peed through her diaper and pants) again... I have had it with her not using the toilet, I have no idea how to get her to potty train, but this summer she will be bare bum until she uses the toilet properly. I have tried training pants and pull ups, but she just runs and hides to pee and poop and won't use the toilet. I had to get rid of our potty because she was so scared of it that she refused to go into the bathroom if it was in there. So for now, it has become a point of contention in our house, Anomantia must potty train so she can go to preschool. She could care less if she goes to preschool or not, she really has no interest in other people or kids at this point and I am still trying to find a way to make her interested in learning. She does things her way and in her time at home so why doesn't the rest of the world work on her schedule too is the attitude I get from her. I desperately need to get her on a schedule, that way she might be more interested in doing things differently.
Spring... or so it should be!
20 March 2012
Well it is officially the equinox of Spring! I am still undecided if spring has really arrived in Gurneyland. My checklist is still on the verge of winter and I am finding the transition to spring difficult to believe that it may actually be here on time this year.
1. the snow is still on the ground- I can see half of the yard but the other half still has a good 20-ish cm (that is 8" for the non-metric users) of snow on the rest of the lawn.
2. The greenhouse door now opens (no longer snowed shut).
3. Our Vegetable garden is still completely covered (yet the mud somehow finds its way onto my carpets... I HATE beige carpets!!!).
4. Allergies are in full swing.
5. I can see the dust and pollens in the air but it is still too cold to open the windows and air everything out.
6. The weather report still has that ugly red bar across the top of the page that screams WINTER WEATHER WARNING IN EFFECT!
7. I still have to carry spare socks around in the diaper bag for myself (I am prone to stepping onto a chunk of ice just to find out it is actually an ankle deep puddle of slush).
8. I go into the hardware store for a small part and end up looking at seeds for an hour (or until a diaper needs to be changed - or whichever comes first).
9. Anomantia insists on puddle jumping in every puddle with her snow boots on and when she gets water on herself, she yells COLD! instead of just trying to spray anyone walking by with water as she does in almost every other season.
and
10. I am dying to get outside more... the cold wind still requires the extra layers, but I am feeling the need to be outside with the girls, if I could only convince them that it is a good idea. (Soon, it will be easier as Anomantia is able to open the side door into the yard- I am just glad that our alarm system tells us when a door is opened and I can monitor where she is... most of the time she is downstairs harassing Laurence to play Batman on the computer.
As the days are progressively getting longer and the weather is getting nicer, it will be harder for me to justify being on the computer as much as I have been lately. I guess that the few minutes that I managed to squeeze in here and there during naps and screen time, during the nursing sessions and after bedtime, I am working on juggling a new schedule for our life here with two girls. Having Furia has been an absolute joy and Anomantia is starting to adjust to having her Baby Fifi at home, the MINE stage has been showing its ugly face a lot lately. Sharing is a difficult concept when she really hasn't had much exposure to other kids her age or other kids period for that matter. I have been trying to socialize Anomantia with other kids so she can grasp social interaction, she however finds it easier to interact with animals or just sits and plays by herself, just not interested in anyone else.
23 March 2012
So I think I put my foot in my mouth with the above posted stuff... since then, we have been having intermittent snow periods and tons of flurries and fog... spring should be coming soon (I hope!).
I am realising how much time my children actually take up in a day... As I type this, Furia is nursing, Anomantia is sitting bare bum on a waterproof blanket on the floor and I am finally getting my first meal of the day and YIKES, it is 3pm!!! So far today, I got up with a fussy plugged nose baby, cleared her nose, changed a diaper, nursed, got Anomantia up and gave her cereal for breakfast, washed up some dishes, picked up toys and folded a load of laundry, turned skype on for Anomantia to talk to her grandparents, nursed some more,made a peanut butter sandwich for Anomantia, had a cup of tea, vacuumed the family room, vacuumed the office, mopped office floor, made tomato, bean and spicy sausage soup from scratch for lunch, did some dishes, talked to Laurence for 2 minutes before he ran out the door while getting Anomantia onto the toilet, changed another diaper for Furia and left Anomantia half naked. It doesn't feel like much but it really is time consuming. I wish I had an extra pair of hands on days like today. Oh Boy, I just turned around to check on the girls, and the flurries have turned into a full blown snow storm... So much for going outside to play this afternoon, it is just coming down too much for Furia to be out in it with her nose already running, probably not a great idea. I guess that I will just have to find projects for Anomantia and I to do inside... I am thinking about making play dough for tomorrow when it is an all girls day. Laurence has to head North for a fraternity thing and who knows how long he will be gone. This afternoon he is visiting some brothers in the hospital. I am glad he has found ways to connect with people around here. I just wish they had something like that for me. There are days when Gurneyland is quite lonely for me as there is no family close by and it seems that almost all my friends have moved away. I have to go, Anomantia has told me that she wants cookies (we don't have any) but I told her I would bake a cake instead. She is currently pulling at my arm and telling me to make a cake... I guess I will.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Saint Patrick's Day and March 18th Photo Bomb
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Thursday, March 15, 2012
Fifi and You
Today has been one of those days where absolutely nothing gets accomplished! I made it to the bank at 3pm to pay some bills, made dinner and peanut butter-chocolate chip cookies (which Laurence and Anomantia both told me should be for dinner). I managed to stuff 6 pocket diapers and change about what feels like a hundred diapers between both girls (ugh!), pick up a few toys and answer the phone a dozen times. Other than the nice chat I had on Skype with the family on the island and the family in Denmark, I spent my day trying to convince Anomantia that her name isn't "You" and try to get her to call Furia by her name instead of "Baby" all the time. I got "Fifi" and "You" from her. Alright, I am fine with that so long as it isn't "baby baby baby" all the time now. It has become "baby Fifi baby" instead. Laurence and I both had a good chuckle with that. As for Furia, she is getting bigger and bigger every day. My guess is that she is somewhere between 12 and 13lbs now. I have delayed her immunizations, I am still reading up on them all to make an educated decision about which ones she will be getting and which ones we will forgo this time. This morning while we were in bed, she rolled over all by herself for the first time. I have seen her roll from back to side and front to side but never a full front to back before. I guess I am amazed because Anomantia was still in her Pavlik harness at this stage and I didn't really realise that a baby could be so "mobile" (for lack of a better term) at this stage. Furia will propel herself across the living room floor on her face during tummy time and she seems quite content to do so. Anomantia hated being on her tummy and used to scream her face off whenever she was put in that position.
As for the rest of life here in Gurneyland, spring is starting to show its ugly face and the pollen count has risen. The Chinook winds have been blowing through giving us nice warm weather and melting the snow. This week, I have even had my diapers out to dry on the line a few times without needing to use my dryer. Tomorrow, I hope to make it to the hardware store to get a new light bulb for my seedlings. I have to get my tomatoes seeded as well as a few other plants into pots here as soon as possible otherwise we might get another crop year like last year and that would really be terrible seeing the cost of food went through the roof in the last six months.
I am trying to accomplish 52 projects this year: by sewing, crafting, knitting, building etc... all from scratch. My challenge is to do homemade gifts for everyone on my list for Christmas and Birthdays as well as homemade stuff for my girls for all those little fun holidays in between. For Easter, Anomantia is getting new mum-made pajamas and Furia is getting a knit skirty for spring. I am hoping that this beautiful weather holds and that Laurence and I can get woodworking projects started for the summer. Of my 52 projects, I have only completed 8 out of the 13 I should have done by now but catch up time is going to happen as soon as I finish cutting the pieces for my beautiful niece's 3rd birthday present and finish Anomantia's bedroom curtains plus a few more to which I will eventually dedicate an entire blog post with photos included. Until then, I am one handed typing while nursing Furia and trying to procrastinate from doing the dinner dishes, meanwhile Laurence has made himself disappear somewhere, my guess is back to the office, so I am on my own with the mess. With that I will take my leave to fold the mountain of laundry dominating my couch and do the dishes from dinner and cookies. Good Night
Carlee
As for the rest of life here in Gurneyland, spring is starting to show its ugly face and the pollen count has risen. The Chinook winds have been blowing through giving us nice warm weather and melting the snow. This week, I have even had my diapers out to dry on the line a few times without needing to use my dryer. Tomorrow, I hope to make it to the hardware store to get a new light bulb for my seedlings. I have to get my tomatoes seeded as well as a few other plants into pots here as soon as possible otherwise we might get another crop year like last year and that would really be terrible seeing the cost of food went through the roof in the last six months.
I am trying to accomplish 52 projects this year: by sewing, crafting, knitting, building etc... all from scratch. My challenge is to do homemade gifts for everyone on my list for Christmas and Birthdays as well as homemade stuff for my girls for all those little fun holidays in between. For Easter, Anomantia is getting new mum-made pajamas and Furia is getting a knit skirty for spring. I am hoping that this beautiful weather holds and that Laurence and I can get woodworking projects started for the summer. Of my 52 projects, I have only completed 8 out of the 13 I should have done by now but catch up time is going to happen as soon as I finish cutting the pieces for my beautiful niece's 3rd birthday present and finish Anomantia's bedroom curtains plus a few more to which I will eventually dedicate an entire blog post with photos included. Until then, I am one handed typing while nursing Furia and trying to procrastinate from doing the dinner dishes, meanwhile Laurence has made himself disappear somewhere, my guess is back to the office, so I am on my own with the mess. With that I will take my leave to fold the mountain of laundry dominating my couch and do the dishes from dinner and cookies. Good Night
Carlee
End of a Journey...
21 February 2012
Today we closed another chapter in our lives and we move on to the next. Today was our last visit to the Midwife Clinic. Furia is now 6 weeks 2 days old and is growing like a weed. She measured in at 22" long and weighs 11lbs 3oz (3lbs 2oz more than birth). Her cheeks are getting wonderfully chubby and her thigh rolls have started to fill out. I am eternally grateful to Jess and Jenn at Blessing Way Midwifery for taking us on as patients. Overall, my pregnancy was healthier and easier than my first pregnancy. It made for a great birthing experience and not to forget a healthy baby and easier recovery. They supported me in all my strategies for pain management and stubborness to achieve the VBAC that I insisted on having. I felt comfortable and relieved to know that I was in good hands and experienced the best care I could have ever hoped for in a pregnancy. I wasn't just a number, I was a person with a name that they would say hi on the street and not forget who I was... I didn't slip through the cracks, and all our needs were exceeded. January 8th was one of the best days of my life being able to share that with two amazing women made it that much better.
With that said, today we are at the end of our journey with Jess and Jenn, I am having a hard time writing this with happiness and sadness, I will miss them dearly until next time we get pregnant again. To anyone who lives in and around Gurneyland, I strongly recommend these two if you are interested in having a home birth, natural birth or even just a hospital birth, Jess and Jenn do amazing work and I trust them with my life and the life of my children (or future children for that matter). So to Jess and Jenn THANK YOU a million times over. I couldn't have asked for anything better.
So we start on a new journey as a family of four... and for now, we are just enjoying being at home as a family and working on our renovations to transform our house into a home.
09 March 2012
I didn't post the above at the time, I needed to contemplate the whole meaning of it before I set it in stone and actually posted it. Furia hit the 2 month mark yesterday, I guess the realisation that she won't stay bitty forever has really hit me. I am trying to keep up with her growth spurts and development. She is almost mobile. During tummy time, she will push her way across the carpet dragging her face and making coo-ing sounds or screaming depending on what she really wants.
Anomantia has really become an excellent big sister. She even shares her maracas with Furia. She even is starting to talk more now. Anomantia's words are becoming clearer but they are still very limited. I guess only time will allow her communication skills to develop.
Today we closed another chapter in our lives and we move on to the next. Today was our last visit to the Midwife Clinic. Furia is now 6 weeks 2 days old and is growing like a weed. She measured in at 22" long and weighs 11lbs 3oz (3lbs 2oz more than birth). Her cheeks are getting wonderfully chubby and her thigh rolls have started to fill out. I am eternally grateful to Jess and Jenn at Blessing Way Midwifery for taking us on as patients. Overall, my pregnancy was healthier and easier than my first pregnancy. It made for a great birthing experience and not to forget a healthy baby and easier recovery. They supported me in all my strategies for pain management and stubborness to achieve the VBAC that I insisted on having. I felt comfortable and relieved to know that I was in good hands and experienced the best care I could have ever hoped for in a pregnancy. I wasn't just a number, I was a person with a name that they would say hi on the street and not forget who I was... I didn't slip through the cracks, and all our needs were exceeded. January 8th was one of the best days of my life being able to share that with two amazing women made it that much better.
With that said, today we are at the end of our journey with Jess and Jenn, I am having a hard time writing this with happiness and sadness, I will miss them dearly until next time we get pregnant again. To anyone who lives in and around Gurneyland, I strongly recommend these two if you are interested in having a home birth, natural birth or even just a hospital birth, Jess and Jenn do amazing work and I trust them with my life and the life of my children (or future children for that matter). So to Jess and Jenn THANK YOU a million times over. I couldn't have asked for anything better.
So we start on a new journey as a family of four... and for now, we are just enjoying being at home as a family and working on our renovations to transform our house into a home.
09 March 2012
I didn't post the above at the time, I needed to contemplate the whole meaning of it before I set it in stone and actually posted it. Furia hit the 2 month mark yesterday, I guess the realisation that she won't stay bitty forever has really hit me. I am trying to keep up with her growth spurts and development. She is almost mobile. During tummy time, she will push her way across the carpet dragging her face and making coo-ing sounds or screaming depending on what she really wants.
Anomantia has really become an excellent big sister. She even shares her maracas with Furia. She even is starting to talk more now. Anomantia's words are becoming clearer but they are still very limited. I guess only time will allow her communication skills to develop.
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