How To... (SBC#29)

How to Dress a two and a half year old...

1. Get her out of bed.
(Mine usually calls for me to get her out of her room or she will be standing on her bed waiting for the door to be opened as she has yet to master turning door knobs.)

2. Convince her she needs to take her nighttime diaper off.
(insert whining here)

3. Wrestle her to the floor and remove pee soaked nighttime diaper.
(insert screaming here.  Somedays it takes both me and DH to get her to stay still enough to remove the diaper.)

4. Try to catch half naked child making a break for the door who escaped while I tried to put dirty diaper in the diaper pail. 
(insert squeal of joy here)

5. Catch child half way down the stairs and carry back upstairs and put on clean diaper.
("Oh, its a Owl, its a green!  NO, I want its a ORANGE!" So the orange diaper gets put on, she freaks out because it isn't the owl diaper, insert more whining here.)

6. Convince kiddo to pick out some clothes for the day.
(insert evil laugh as she runs out the door and heads for the stairs again.)

7. Choose some clothes from the clean hamper (to be put away this afternoon... if I get to it!)

8. Chase after child and try to put clothes on, as she is stripping off her remaining shirt from overnight.
(insert squeal of joy for being mostly naked.)

9. Catch up with child in living room while she is trying to turn on the TV.
(negotiate TV channel in exchange for clothes... answered by a big fat NO!)

10. Try to wrestle some clothes onto child just to have her fight it.
(insert more screaming and No's and a stop!)

11. Give up, let child be mostly naked... It's not like I have anywhere important to go today anyways.
(and if I did, a bribe might work!)

Squirbo in her Happy Heinys "Owl" diaper.

12. Have a cup of tea and think about the workout I am getting doing this 6 out of 7 mornings each week.

Now to try to get her to brush her hair... now that is a whole other war in itself.